Down to Business Part 2

Listening to an agent speak at The Actor's Network the other night, I came away with two things.

1) I'm not the only one in need of a new business model.

(Apparently there is far less money floating around to make movies, so fewer movies are being made, which means there are fewer film jobs, so all the film stars are now looking to land TV shows. With most of the major recurring and guest spots going to film stars, very little new talent is being groomed for series regular roles, which means when the networks need someone for a show they no longer look for American talent but for foreign talent who have already had shows back in Canada, England or Australia. They took our jobs!)

2) There is only so much pie.

(Mmmmh, pie... But no matter how much you cut it, there are only going to be so many co-star, guest-star roles. It is a limited growth market)

Kind of a downer, right?

It did clarify for me a traditional career progression for an actor - begin with co-stars, graduated to doing guest-star roles, nab your first series and then do film. So it may be less effective than it once was, so what? This is acting we're talking about, nothing is easy.

But it's still not much of a model. You work a side job and sustain yourself on faith until you get that first co-star role, but how long until you book that first co-star or guest star role? How can you measure your investment and manage your expectations?

On that one question, (because of the research I've been doing) I may have an answer, which I will get into in a different post.

But listening to this speaker I felt sharp needle-like pains in my scapula and sitting here now at my computer writing this, I feel them still.

Which means something is bugging me.

And I think its this. The pie and me. I just don't think I can "make it in Hollywood" on acting alone. I don't have enough faith to sit on a one-legged stool.

NPR has done reports on changes in the rapping business, where hip-hop artists now create their clothing line first and then drop their first album - the idea nowadays is to have the music sell the brand; sell the merchandise.

Even Brad Pitt has his other businesses. He's an entrepeneur.

"Take a look at your strengths and weaknesses, what separates you from the other actors," my friends say.

Weaknesses: I'm not Brad Pitt.

Strengths: ... my writing.

I've always seen careers in H Wood as distinct: you're an actor. Or you're a writer. Or you're a d-bag. I mean producer.

But looking back I've always worn several hats. Not just survival jobs (ah... Harrington Tutoring Services, I fondly look back at you), but positions that could help me in some sort of career path. I am an emmy-nominated writer, afterall...

So I come to roughly the same conclusion as last time - What the heck is my business model?

However there a few important improvements. The quest will remain a quest - something I'm doing for me - something I value more than money. This blog will return to following the quest.

But this quest is not my career. I believe it will help my business, but I think it will be one part of it. What that multi-legged stool of a business will be, I'm still not sure.

Yet.

Down to Business PART 1

We're driving to Disneyland and my friend and are I catching up. He's telling me about the latest job that he's booked and that he's looking forward to - a guest star on a new one-hour.

He's been in a bunch of television, including Lie to Me, Desperate Housewives and Grey's Anatomy. But he's especially excited about this role in particular because its a little bit different from the roles he typically plays - he's starting to branch out.

It's all about business and branding and picking that one thing that agents and casting directors can latch on to and "know" what to cast you as. I would have asked more about the business side of things, but then we arrived at the Happiest Place on Earth and I spent the rest of the day eating fried food, screaming and pretending I was a dead body on the rides.

I was, however, reminded of another conversation I had had with another friend. He has recently shot and finished his first film. It's a low-budget, indie film but it is a great story and has a lot of potential. After a few questions he opened up to me about his business plan for the film, his strategy with the film festival circuit and how he plans to produce his next film.

Wow.

Both of my friends are businessmen.

Which of course made me reflect on myself.

Hey kid, it's not called Show-Art.

I don't have a brand; I have a dream. I don't have a business plan; I have a quest.

Guess which one makes more money?

So I decided to think business-y. Already I'm a little out of my element, but I wrote out Business of Seth Harrington the Actor on the top of a piece of paper.

I know that business is all about profit. Therefore I lined up my business investments and expenses on one side (Postage, Classes, money for Yogurt Land) and my income on the other side.

Agh! Already in the red. Which is what happens when your income is zero.

As a hypothetical, given my expenses and my general cost of living - I decided to see how many jobs I would have to book to put me back in the black.

Using the SAG rates, without including the residuals (because as I've learned, residuals are a completely unpredictable hot mess) I would have to book the equivalent of four one-day co-stars a month or one guest-star per month to put me in the black.

4 one-day co-stars? I don't know anyone who does that! It's impossible.

What the hell am I doing in this money pit of a business?

But wait a second. Everyone I know is an actor. My class is full of them and when I go on auditions, I'm always seeing new people.

HOW DOES NO ONE KNOW THIS?

I can't speak for everyone else, but maybe it's because like me, they're not completely approaching show-biz from a business perspective.

As for me... I know I started this quest as a quest for myself personally - to take a year to do this one thing that I, so far, have not been able to do. This is something that I want for my life, not just for a paycheck. However the paycheck cannot be ignored. As I've written before, I'm not independently wealthy.

I've learned a great deal about show-biz so far and I have incorporated a few things into my strategy, but I have not looked at this like a business or a career. To be honest with myself, when I envision having a "career" - of any sort- I see myself - not just treading water (or as I've heard many of my fellow actors say wistfully "making a living") but actually succeeding. Setting goals and surpassing them.

As for business - I know I, personally, would not invest in a business whose sole goal is to book one job. It doesn't seem like a sound investment.

So where does that leave me? I don't know.

Normally when I start these blog posts, I already know how I'm going to finish them - the lesson has already been learned and digested. But I'm going to leave this open-ended, a part one. I know there must be an appropriate business model out there for acting. I just don't know what it is.

Yet.

The fruits of fate.

The call came in late that Monday evening. An audition the next morning for a TV show on Fox. One that I had been pursuing for months.

I put the phone down. And instead of the customary dread I used to feel before a "big" audition, what I felt was excitement.

I knew what to do this time around and I was pumped. Best of all the audition was for the role of Cultist!

Already the narrative began playing in my mind. This was it. I had worked for ten, long hard months for this and this was the one. This was the role that was going to fulfill my quest.

First I read all the parts that were auditioning for that episode, then I read and prepped my part (it was only two lines, but I wanted to be thorough). Lastly I called up one of my actor friends and rehearsed the scene.

I went into the audition the next day confident in the choices I'd made.

Then the adjustments came - including the suggestion to "throw it away more."

"Throw it away more" has always bewildered me a bit, because it can mean several different things, such as "don't hit everything," "speak more softly," "act nonchalant."

So I did my best incorporating that note and the other adjustments. I've been told its always a good sign to get adjustments, but despite that, I'm afraid I might have been too married to my original ideas.

I left feeling like I'd done my best but that I hadn't booked the job.

Fate had abandoned me.

Then I got a call from my manager who had set up an audition for me for 90210.

90210?!!

I used to love the original - it was one of the few TV shows my mother would let me watch.

What's best is that it was for the role of Nice Guy at the Bar. His first line is:

"Hey, I'm Jeff."

Get out.

People sometimes think my name is Jeff when I introduce myself to them for the first time!

It was a sign.

Silly me for despairing earlier, my breakthrough role was obviously to be Jeff for two lines on 90210!

I did the same process. I was prepped and ready. This time I walked in and did my scene and the CD said to me "Great. Really good job throwing it all away."

(thanks?) I left and went back to my day.

Three days went by. No call. I didn't book Nine Oh either. Seriously, destiny, wtf?

But before I could take a nose-dive into the black, swirling depths of despair, I decided to look at the past week without the melo-drama. Honestly, it was a success. One audition was the result of ten months of net-working, following up and not giving up and the other audition was a random gift. But with both of them I could see the changes that have unfolded within me. I have become much more a professional actor; I was prepared and able to perform to the best of my ability.

And lastly they both showed me that the time and energy I have put into the business and the craft of acting are bearing fruit.

Just not you-landed-your-first-role-on-TV-end-of-the-quest-type-fruit.

Fruits of labors

Recently I returned from a great little vacation on the East Coast. My sister and I drove out to Rehoboth Beach, caught some rays and then headed back to DC. The other night I was flipping through my photos of the trip when I paused.

Whoah. What was that?

I zoomed in. No, there was no doubt about it. That was a shoulder muscle.

Shut up.

I have shoulder muscles!

(Now, if you recall, the last time I mentioned my body, I was doing the P90x program. And I had made some development, but that was before the dark days of 5th Grader, when I was chained to my desk, writing questions for the man for three months...)

Also, in light of what I've come to terms with about type and castability, as long as I'm trim, it doesn't really matter what my body looks like. I'm not gonna get called in for Hunky Guy. I also don't tan very well. Sadly, I've had to lay to rest my dreams of being in Gidget 2.

Therefore, when 5th Grader ended, I just decided to get in shape, get fit again. I signed up for a bootcamp that met weekdays in the morning. It was a way to stay healthy and manage all that mental energy.

I never thought I'd see results.

And that's the kicker, I'd given up hope that things could change. That I could improve.

It's the same with acting. There is so much that is out of your control when it comes to being a professional actor: the way others see you and whether or not they want to hire you. When you come to accept that, it's a slippery slope to feeling completely powerless.

There have been times when I've felt powerless.

As with the bootcamp, all I've been able to do is keep my head down and doggedly rehearse. Despite my anxiety, or frustration, I've continued to make the calls, organize the rehearsals, do my pre-work and then show up.

Because I've told myself, no matter what - and there are a lot of insecurities that go into that "what"- I'm not going to quit.

So to my complete surprise, last night in class I did an awesome, shoulder-muscle of a scene. It was such a surprise that I initially didn't believe the praise of my teacher. Finally I got that she was being sincere and I took it on. I had done a good job. It was heartening.

Most of the biz, really is out of my control - I've known that for a long time. But just as I can wake up every morning for bootcamp and run up that hill, so to can I continue to rehearse every day. Because I know that I can get better. Even I, can improve. I can be good.

As for all the stuff that I continue to not be able to control, I'll continue to not worry about it. It's what Gidget and Moondoggie would do.

The looking glass.

There is a guy in my acting class who is really, really good. Quirky, yet unassuming in person he has the ability to immediately drop into a scene and make it come to life. He does this with the same nonchalance with which I tie my shoelaces. And when he turns it on during a scene, everyone in the class stills. Some hold their breath, some squirm but no one is not moved.

I really hope he isn't reading this right now.

And strangely, I don't hate his guts or tremble with jealousy around him. I make sure to be in the same rehearsals as he is.

Because I want to be as good as he is.

Which may never happen...

Taking good, long, hard looks in the mirror has never been my thing. I would much rather use the mirror to practice my acceptance speech than to observe my flaws. However... Fantasy can only take you so far. Reality can serve you also.

This summer has been a summer of reality for me. Whether it was the 14-hour day, 14-day weeks I was working for 5th Grader, or getting nominated for an Emmy and then really losing, or the way any of my superiors would break off in mid-sentence in a conversation with me to answer their cell-phone, my delusions of grandeur and senses of entitlement have been thoroughly beaten back.

I also have become far more comfortable with "actuality."

Therefore, after spending time with this guy (the talented one from my class) I finally couldn't escape a thought that had been bothering me.

I'm not a brilliant actor.

I'm not even that good.

Oddly enough, these thoughts do not make me want to quit. These thoughts are liberating.

Because if I reflect truthfully on my past, I've always felt frustrated and overwhelmed by the notion of acting that actors are capable of doing any role - of seamlessly transforming themselves into other people. Actors like Cate Blanchett and Peter O'toole come to mind. They amaze me by the unique distinct characters they are able to create over and over again.

This notion frustrates me because I haven't been able to do that. But I'm not without talent... so where does that leave me?

Well what about actors like Matt Leblanc? Certainly he was brilliant on Friends. I have not, however heard of him bringing down the house playing Hamlet.

For some reason I valued the Blanchetts and O'tooles much more than the Leblancs. For some reason I've been deathly ashamed of admitting that maybe I only have a few trump cards up my sleeve as opposed to the entire deck. But there is no reason too; all three of those actors are exceptional. Each of them played to their respective strengths. And that is something I can do.

I do not know how I will grow and change, but I can accept for now that my range is limited. This certainly doesn't mean I will give up. It just means I can lighten my load a bit. What a relief it is now to work towards being my best, as opposed to being the best. I have some things I can do really well - those are the strengths I will hone. The things that I can't do well, I don't have to beat myself up about not doing well; I can leave that alone and play to my abilities.

And lastly, I can work really hard.

So I return to my quest, after a three month absence.

Multi-tasking

You remember those kids in school, the ones who always got good grades and could manage to play a varsity sport and take part in the science club or the musical? AND do volunteer work? (Wait a second, work... for free?)

They also were the ones voted most likely to succeed. And since there really is no such thing as karma, they are all... actually... succeeding.

I know. Envy is not becoming. But I'm just being honest.

Those people are also the ones who make it in Hollywood.

Because here's the thing, very few people start off doing their dream job. Most of us have bills to pay, so we take on a "for now" job to get by until we can finally break in. What happens to many is that after a while, the dream doesn't pull on us as hard and we become comfortable with the lifestyle the money from our "for now" job has afforded us and we stay there. Inertia happens, baby.

There are those few though, who come home from a long day at work and apply to grad school, crank out fifteen pages on the screenplay or go to acting class. They don't flop on the couch and turn on 30 Rock, they say to themselves "Now I get to work on my novel!"

And they get it done. And they leave their "for now" job for their "dream" job.

It's awesome. magical.

enviable.

Why am I writing about this?

Guess who's not independently wealthy?

I have managed to find a pretty awesome "for now" job. I write for the game show, Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader. We shoot on the SONY lot (the old Columbia Pictures/MGM lot), my co-workers are fun, bright and talented and because I'm under a WGA contract, I can earn my healthcare.

So I'm definitely not complaining. But I will say this: the job is all-consuming.

At the end of 9 hours of taping, we go back to the office and spend another hour or two prepping for the next day (and we tape 6 days a week). I certainly do not have the time to slip out for an audition or to meet someone for coffee (although I did find a way to meet with you, Howard Meltzer, and that was a great lunch, thank you!).

I am very tempted to put my quest on the back burner until the end of July (when I'm done with 5th Grader). When I got home at night, all I want to do is eat dinner and go to bed.

But I can't. I can't stop - I've been rehearsing, almost every day for the past two months! I have a well-oiled email/post-card/coffee machine going!

So HOW do these people do it?

I don't know. Honestly, I never understood in highschool - it simply wasn't me. I found the more that I tried to divide my attention and energy between various things, the less well I could do any of them.

Multi-tasking isn't the answer. Even the super achievers can't audition when they're serving a vanilla latte.

When I am at work, I will have to focus completely on my job.

Therefore, the solution lies in the time that exists when I'm not at work. It seems the trick is not to juggle more than one thing, but to just do the additional task.

I may not be able to rehearse every night, but twice a week is doable. Lunch meetings are out of the picture, but emails are possible. It just a little extra effort at the end of the day.

And that's what this quest is all about.

Deja vu

Do you ever have those dreams where you're sitting in 9th grade bio and somehow you're the only one in class who didn't do his homework? And beyond the feeling that you know you did your homework there's a deeper feeling... that something is somehow... off

Didn’t you already do bio?
Wait, didn’t you already graduate from highschool?

It was midnight on a Wednesday, I was seated Indian-style in stocking feet in a circle with nine other actors and we were trying to work out the rhythm to this particular game (so that we could beat the other group). I closed my eyes to concentrate and for a moment I forgot how old I was. I felt like I was in summer camp.

This was the acting class I signed up for.

Although in my last post I had come to the conclusion that I needed to hone my craft, I was reluctant to go back to acting class. I’m extremely skeptical of them.

The main reason being, acting classes are taught by actors.

You know who I mean. The teacher who would rather be acting, who once was an actor before they “moved on” and who now get their thrill performing for their students.

There is nothing more frustrating than to rehearse a scene for a week and then only be able to perform it once because the teacher has spent the entire time talking.

Happily, this was not the case at my new class. If I was unnerved at having to take my shoes off to enter the studio (which was really an old Hollywood craftsman that had been nicely remodeled) then I was reassured by the structure of the class and the amount of material the various teachers imparted to us. The teacher to class ratio is 1:5.

There is one person in charge though, the teacher whose name was also on the studio, they called her... Mama.

It was clear that Mama expected no less than our best - every time.

The first thing she asked of us was how many hours we rehearsed a day.

A day?

There was some blah blah blah about professional athletes and musicians who practice every day – and I was just about to tune out when I… tuned in.

I did join this class to become better. This is the year I land my first role on television. And if I allowed myself to think about it, then well…

I needed to turn myself into a professional athlete of television.

That meant life-style change. Starting with the amount of time I was to rehearse. From the next day on we were to rehearse three hours a day with each other.

It was hard. I was exhausted after the first day. I was cranky, I certainly sucked and was probably the worst actor in the entire world. And my brain hurt, it hurt really bad and all I wanted to do was give up. Even the first day – I just wanted to sit around and talk. But you don’t get better sitting around and talking. You don’t get land-your-first-role-on-television-good by giving up.

So I forced myself to do the work. And guess what?
I got better.

In some instances it is complete Deja vu. To be as experienced and as lived as I am and yet be back in the role of student (especially after working as a tutor for as long as I have) is disorienting.

However if there is one thing you learn everyday, its that you never stop learning.

Therefore I plan to pay attention to Mama and see what I can learn.